Download When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, by David Richo
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When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, by David Richo
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In this book, psychotherapist David Richo explores how we replay the past in our present-day relationships—and how we can free ourselves from this destructive pattern. We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, friends, or acquaintances. When the Past Is Present helps us to become more aware of the ways we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs. Drawing on decades of experience as a psychotherapist, Richo helps readers to: • Understand how the wounds of childhood become exposed in adult relationships—and why this is a gift • Identify and heal the emotional wounds we carry over from the past so that they won't sabotage present-day relationships • Recognize how strong attractions and aversions to people in the present can be signals of own own unfinished business • Use mindfulness to stay in the present moment and cultivate authentic intimacy
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Product details
Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Shambhala; First Edition edition (July 22, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 159030571X
ISBN-13: 978-1590305713
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 11 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
93 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#18,793 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I purchased this book upon my therapists suggested reading. By page 15 I already cried, very I sightful in a way other books have not spoken to me. However, I consider myself to have a fairly high reading comprehension and this book requires a companion dictionary for nearly every page for me. I also find the sentences long and wordy to a point where it is difficult to absorb what the author is trying to convey and I am re-reading many sentences many times to try to extract the lesson.If you're looking for an easy read I wouldn't recommend this book. But, if you're in the thick of it with your emotional work I do think this is a valuable companion to support you.
This book is immensely important for every single human being - it's just poorly written. And that's a real shame. The information is so relevant and so eye opening and so helpful - it really is too bad the author didn't revise it one or two or more times to make it more readable. Many people are not going to get through this book and that's too bad because it has so much to offer - but it's burred under awkward sentences and haphazard editing. Some of it even seems like the author's original notes that he didn't bother to put into finished chapters - but listed it all as bullet points instead.I hope someday the author will consider revising the edit and publishing a more polished version. However, if you're will to put the time into this book, it's well worth it - but be prepared to weight through it like you're on a scavenger hunt.
Personally, the way this was written gears more towards medical or mental health professionals. You can tell the writer knows what he's talking about and has experience in this field, but it's not as easy to digest for readers of other trades. Though it does explain some good, valuable concepts, it felt very repetitive to me, and I found myself losing steam a few chapters in. However, if this is your preferred style of writing as a reader, you may like it.
This book, should of been read before I had any relationship. And re read over and over. It has helped me realize so much of why I made so many mistakes, and thought the way I had. Great book, take your time and soak it in.
I don't know if it was just me, but I felt like the same concepts were covered, just in different ways. Granted, the author did cover some really great insights about transference, but I got bored of reading about it after I was at page 80 and decided to move on to a different book.
This book provided me with insight about previous relationships in my life that I would not have otherwise been able to identify. I love the concepts presented in this book, mostly centered around the idea that we use new people to fill roles, as if our lives were a play, and as people leave our lives we are able to fill those positions with new people.I did not have a great family life growing up. This book is the BEST book I have ever read for helping me get past some of the things that have repeatedly held me back in my adult life thus far.
Outstanding. Went to hear him in person after reading the book, and it was everything I hoped and more! Thank you, David, for your clarity and wisdom!!!
Honestly this book is great for you even if you are in a healthy relationship. Its just good reading with a solid foundation. I sent this book to my then GF now EX GF. I hope this helps Bethany get through the issues that are dragged from relationship to relationship. This book cuts through the garbage and calls it like it is.
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